What If-If Only
by DocMcRegals
Summary: When she realizes that she's pregnant, Addison begins to have second thoughts and her mind drifts off to the idea of 'What if she hadn't aborted Mark Sloan's baby'. AU; Re-Post of original story. Based on a scene from 4x19 of Private Practice. Set during Season 5 of Private Practice post intervention. Set Grey's verse Pre-Grey's and early season 1 and onward
1. Prologue and Part I

_**Hey Guys!**_

_**So, I'm re-posting an old story I did back when I first started writing fan-fiction which, was ironically around this time back in 2011. Writing fan-fiction has definitely changed my life. It allowed me to put my thoughts and ideas out there for others to see. So far it's been an amazing journey. I've met so many great people whom I've connected with in such a positive way. I've grown so much as a writer and it's truly been a blessing for me. Thank you to all of the wonderful, wonderful people who have me and my stories on their favorites list. Thank you to everyone who's put my stories into their communities. I am truly and gratefully humbled. Anywho, back to the point-this story. This story is based around a speech Addison gave to Naomi in episode 4x19 of Private Practice called "God Bless The Child". It's the episode where we really get to see how Addison felt about aborting she and Mark's child, a little girl she calls Ella. Long story short, it's my version of Grey's "If/Then" episode in season 8. It's realistically set during season 5 of Private Practice, around the time when Addison is trying IVF. In this story she does get pregnant but is torn because of her guilt, because yes I feel like Addison had a bit of guilt for aborting her baby with Mark, because she brings it up quite a bit if you watch PP. It's a 6 part story with a pretty interesting twist at the end. I think you guys will like it; think of it as a sort of anniversary present from me to you. Again thank you all so much for sticking with me these past 3 years. You've all sorta become like family to me and it means a lot, honestly.**_

_**Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy!**_

_**Xx**_

* * *

><p><em><em>[Addison]: "My Kid would've been 6 this year…a girl, I know it would've been a girl…<em>___Ella____; she'd be in first grade…she'd have the same gap in between her teeth as me"__

__[Naomi]: "If you have this much regret about your own abortion, how can you do this one?"__

__[Addison]:"Because for me…it was…the right decision at the time"__

__Private Practice Season 4 Episode 19 "God Bless the Child"__

__Prologue__

__Addison Forbes Montgomery sat in her regularly scheduled therapy session with her therapist, but was more nervous than usual today.__

"__Something wrong Addison? You seem…nervous, something bothering you?" her therapist asked, looking over his glasses at her. __

"__I could…no, I'm definitely pregnant; Jake confirmed it today, just before I came here; I'm 6 weeks" she said, quietly picking at a piece of loose string on the arm of her sweater.__

"__Well Congratulations"__

"__No, not congratulations; I don't know if this baby is through IVF…or because of Sam" Addison__

"__Oh…so you and Sam?" Her therapist questioned__

"__We got back together around the time I got inseminated, the same week actually" she told her therapist as she remembered the night she and Sam reunited…__

__**6 weeks earlier**__

__**Addison Forbes Montgomery was miserable. She was a woman in her 40's, still not pregnant after 2 rounds of IVF, and alone. She sat out on her deck late one night, glass of wine in her hand, curled up on a lounger, with a blanket draped around her shoulders.**__

**"**__**How the hell did I end up alone? I mean I had Derek, but I cheated on him with Mark, I had Mark but I aborted his kid, then I had Sam, who didn't want kids…how the hell did my life get so damn complicated?" she asked herself**__

**"**__**I never said I didn't want kids Addison" Sam said with a sigh as he walked onto her deck and sat on the lounger beside her**__

**"**__**You said quote 'I already have a child and a grandchild Addison'"**__

**"**__**And I also said that I wanted us to get used to each other as a couple first, before we thought about kids"**__

**"**__**I couldn't wait Sam"**__

**"**__**You could have, but you're selfish and you have to have things your way…its one of the things that infuriates me about you, but its also one of the things I love about you…you always get your way"**__

**"**__**Not always" Addison said sadly, averting her eyes back to the ocean**__

**"**__**Addison, if you had just waited, I would have eventually came around to the idea. I mean, Maya had just given birth to Olivia…my 16 year old daughter had gotten pregnant and married, all in the same year, and on top of that she and my grandchild almost died. You should've known that I wouldn't want to jump up and say 'yeah Addie, we should definitely have a baby', you couldn't have thought that after the year I'd had with Maya"Sam said**__

**"**__**But I did, I did think you'd want a baby with me Sam. You talked so much about how you wanted to be with me and that nothing would break us up, then you kiss your ex wife while I'm away grieving my dead mother, and then you refuse to give me the one thing I want more than anything in the world"Addison said, her voice growing thick with emotion the more she talked. Sam sat quiet for a few moments thinking over what she'd said before speaking again**__

**"**__**I'm sorry"he said**__

**"**__**What?" Addison asked, turning her attention from the ocean to look back at him**__

**"**__**I said I'm sorry Addison. Baby look, I love you; I love you more than anything in the world, and I do I want to be with you… this separation, us being apart its killing me, seeing you with Jake, it upsets me. I'm sorry that I dismissed what you wanted. I know you've wanted a kid more than anything in the world and I want to give you that, it's just…I just want to be with you for a while Addison, just you. I want us to get stronger as a couple, I want us to find our footing, find our ground as Sam-and-Addison, then we can have a baby, maybe a couple of babies" he said**__

**"**__**A couple of babies?" Addison asked softly, heart filling with hope**__

**"**__**I want to give you babies Addison, but I want the timing to be right"**__

**"**__**When Sam? When's the timing going to be right?"Addison asked with a sigh, running a hand through her hair**__

**"**__**When the time is right we'll know"he said**__

**"...**__**I really do miss you Sam"**__

**"**__**I know, I miss you too" he said pulling her in for a kiss, which ultimately led to sex, which put Addison Forbes Montgomery in her current situation…**__

__oOo__

"__Whose do you want it to be?" her therapist asked, interrupting her thoughts__

"__Of course I want it to be Sam's, but…I need this baby to be through IVF, because if it's not, then…"__

"__Then what?"__

"__Then I have to give it up…if this baby isn't through IVF…I may get an abortion"__

"__Is an abortion what you really want?"__

"__No, of course not! It's just…I never thought I'd be in this situation again"__

"__What do you mean you didn't think you'd be in this situation again? You've had an abortion before?"__

"__Yeah…when I cheated on Derek, I got pregnant…"__

"__And you had an abortion?"__

"__Yes, and had I known that that child would be my one and only shot to get pregnant, I wouldn't have had the abortion…"__

_"_So you think-"__

_"_It wouldn't be fair for me to keep this baby. I would feel, an enormous amount of guilt if I kept this baby, knowing that I wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't aborted my kid with Mark in the first place" she said, allowing her mind to drift off to what could have been if she hadn't had the abortion...__

* * *

><p>Manhattan, New York, 8 Years Earlier…<p>

Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd stood pacing back and forth in the bathroom of her brownstone townhouse. She couldn't be pregnant, she just couldn't be she told herself as she waited for the timer to ding.

"Something wrong Red?" Mark Sloan asked as he peeped into the bathroom watching his girlfriend pace back and forth as she held up a hand to silence him.

Their situation was a very delicate one; she was the wife of his best friend Derek Shepherd. After Derek caught the pair in bed together, he moved out, well more like away from New York all together; their former mentor Richard Webber offered him a job as head of Neurosurgery at Seattle Grace Hospital; Addison hadn't heard from Derek in months.

"What's going on Addison" Mark asked again, just as the timer dinged, causing Addison to stop dead in her tracks.

Her heart stopped beating for a split second as she walked over to the counter to where the small stick read: positive. She blinked hard; she shook her head, closed her eyes, and opened them again, somehow thinking she could will the stick to read negative. Sill, she got the same results: positive.

"Oh no…Oh God no" She said as she stared at the stick as if it were a ghost.

"Okay Addison, you're starting to scare me; what the hell's going on…_oh_…"

"Mark, do you know what this means?"

"Yeah, I do"

"Oh thank God because I…"

"It means you're having my kid Red…I'm gonna be a daddy!" Mark said picking her up and spinning her around, as she looked at him in horror

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

"No Mark! I'm still married!"

"But you're getting a divorce…right? I mean you filed, you sent the papers to Derek's lawyer and he said they were okay…you're getting divorced…right?"

"I haven't signed them yet" Addison said with a sigh

"What the hell are you waiting on Addison?! For him to come back because he's not coming back…don't kid yourself Red, I mean _Blondie_" Mark smirked, as he referred to Addison's now Blonde hair.

"Shut up! What the hell am I supposed to do?" she groaned, leaning her head on the cool sink

"Is there an actual choice here?"

"What do you mean is there an actual…oh God" Addison said as she pushed past Mark and threw up into the toilet

"I mean you're keeping it" Mark said as Addison stood on wobbly legs and headed towards the sink

"What? You can't be serious Mark? Its not an option, me being pregnant by my husband's best friend"

"Ex husband" Mark corrected

"He's still my husband; the papers haven't been signed yet"

"Whatever"

"Mark, I love you, you're a great guy and all, but you're __Derek's best friend__…besides you don't even like kids" Addison said

"I did a rotation in peds during residency" Mark pointed out

"Because it was required, _not because you wanted to_" Addison countered

"You don't think I can do it? You don't think I'm ready to be a father"

"I __know __you're not ready to be a father Mark" Addison

"Give me some time to prove it to you…please Addison, I promise I can do this, I'm ready, all I needed was the right woman, and that woman is you"

3 days later

"Hey" Mark said softly as he found Addison in bed one night reading a book

"What are you doing here Mark? It's late" Addison said with a sigh as she looked up at him over her plum colored reading glasses

"I just finished a shift…I went out and got you something" He began as Addison started to protest

"Don't turn your nose up at it, I think you'll like it" he said placing the bag in front of her as she pulled out the contents: a New York Yankees onesie and a calendar; she looked up at him in disbelief.

"Okay I get the onesie, but what the hell is the calendar for?" she asked

"Flip through it and you'll see…I marked the due date see? May 2nd…I did learn something during my rotation on the vagina squad" he smirked

"This is nice Mark, real nice…thank you" she said quietly

"Yeah, listen I don't want to keep you and the baby up much longer, you're gonna wanna get as much sleep as you can; I read that pregnant women sleep a lot during the first and second trimesters, and they like lots of sex" he said proudly

"Where'd you read that?" she asked

"'What to Expect when you're Expecting'…I picked it up the other day, I figured you didn't need one since you're like the queen of the vagina squad and all, but I can pick you up a copy if you'd like"

"Uh no, but thank you"

"Anything for you Red and our little Mark Jr in there"

"_Mark Jr_? _**Really**_?" Addison said with a frown

"Yeah, it's a boy, I know it's gonna be a boy, you're a boy aren't you?" he said placing a hand to her stomach before kissing her cheek lightly and heading out the door.

oOo

Once he was out the door, Addison grabbed her cell and dialed her best friend (besides Naomi) Savvy…

"Sav, it's me?" Addison said quietly into the phone

"Addie? It's after midnight, what's going on? Are you working a late shift at the hospital?" Savvy mumbled through the phone

"No I'm at home…Sav, I need the name of your client's doctor…the one who does abortions"

"Addison…Are you? Oh God no! Addison!" Savvy shouted, now fully awake

"I am…and I can't keep it Sav, I just can't…" Addison said with a sigh

"Does he know?" Savvy asked

"Yeah"

"Addison!" Savvy shouted

"It's not like I planned on telling him! He saw me pacing back and forth in the bathroom while I was waiting for the results…he's happy Sav"

"WHAT?!"The blonde on the other end of the phone shrieked

"Yeah, he thinks I should keep it, but I can't have Derek's best friend's baby! He went out and brought a Yankees onesie and a calendar and marked the due date, May 2nd, which is probably about right. He's reading 'What to Expect when you're Expecting', what the hell am I supposed to do!? This is Mark we're talking about here! I was half expecting him to give me the money for the abortion, not be all happy about it! He called it 'Mark Jr'" Addison ranted

"Mark Jr? No! You can't have a mini manwhore running around Manhattan" Savvy teased

"Savvy, I'm not keeping this baby…No"

"Maybe he is ready Addie" Savvy suggested

"Are you insane? Again: this is Mark we're talking about here! Mark Sloan, the man who sleeps with anything and everything that has a vagina! Mark Sloan is not ready to be a dad…no!"

"But you are ready to be a mom…aren't you?" Savvy pushed

"Savvy…" Addison warned

"It's what you've wanted since we were little Addie. Remember what you said you wanted to be when you grew up? You said you wanted to be a mommy more than anything in the world"

"And I changed my mind: I became a surgeon, a damn good one at that…some might even call me the best" Addison said, completely avoiding her best friend's question

"I'd totally agree with you if I hadn't known you since we were 7…we both know that the real reason you became a surgeon was to piss off Bizzy"

"And it worked didn't it?" Addison asked with a smirk

"Yes it did, and you are a damn good surgeon, one of the best if not _the best_ in your field…but as much as you love being a surgeon, there's an even bigger part of you that wants to be a mother…you want to have a baby Addie"

"A baby with Derek Sav, not Mark" Addison said with a sigh, running a hand through her hair

"You know he's not coming back right? I mean you said it yourself" Savvy pointed out

"Can you just, give me the name of the doctor and make sure that this never gets out?" Addison asked, not wanting to think about what her friend was saying

"Fine Addison, if this is what you really want…"

"It is…I'm sure…thanks Sav" Addison said firmly

"Sure Addison" Savvy said before giving her the information and hanging up. She certainly hoped her friend knew what she was doing

1 Week later

Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd sat in a private medical clinic that evening on the upper east side of Manhattan, her legs crossed and her foot doing that nervous tappy thing it always did when she was either nervous or impatient (today she was both). Her fingers lightly drummed the black Prada bag sitting on her lap as she waited impatiently for her name to be called. She was relieved that it was after hours where no one could see her. All it took was a phone call to Savvy, who had a client, whose doctor performed abortions. All she had to do was give her name when she arrived at the clinic and then everything else would be taken care of.

The clinic was empty, with the acceptation of the receptionist and the janitor who was so engrossed in his cleaning and the headphones in his ears that he didn't have a clue what the hell was going on. She sat there thinking for a while, one hand placed on the small swell of her stomach. She looked in the mirror that morning as she dressed, she could see the small bump starting to show. Although Mark insisted that there was nothing to see, but she knew it was there. She sat in her car for nearly an hour, agonizing over what she should do; a part of her desperately wanted to keep the baby, but she had an image to protect. Plus, she had to think of her husband, even though he'd moved to the woods and started dating a fucking intern (based on what she'd heard).

She also thought about Mark and what he'd think of her once he found out; but...he wasn't ready to be a father-not yet anyways. He'd just be yet another man in Addison's life to let her down. Only this time, there'd be a child involved who would have to endure the heartbreak of not having a father around. She was ashamed and embarrassed and alone. How in the hell had a woman like Addison Forbes Montgomery (formerly Shepherd) fallen so far from grace? She was the foremost renowned neonatal surgeon in the country and now she sat here, in this office like a commoner, trying to rid her life of this 'little indiscretion'.

"Ms. Montgomery, the doctor will see you now" the young looking nurse told her as she stood and headed towards the back….

oOo

"Dr. Montgomery, it's a pleasure, but it is quite unfortunate that we're meeting under these…circumstances" the doctor said as he entered the room shaking Addison's hand

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice"

"Any friend of Savvy's is a friend of mine…now I know you've done the procedure hundreds of times as a doctor but you've never been in this situation as a patient…So I'm gonna explain everything to you….now the first thing we have to do is confirm the pregnancy…and…it looks like you're most definitely pregnant almost 9 weeks to be exact…" the doctor said, but Addison blocked out the rest of his words once she heard her baby's heartbeat and saw it on the screen.

"Dr. Montgomery?" he said snapping her out of her trance

"I'm sorry what were you saying?"

"Savvy told me you might be a little, apprehensive about this. I just want to make sure that this is absolutely what you want. I'll give you a few moments to think about it" he said excusing himself from the room, leaving Addison alone to stare at her baby on the monitor.

She continued with the ultrasound herself, as she lay there fascinated by her baby's heartbeat. This was a baby growing inside of her: her baby. That damn Savvy was right; she had always wanted to be a mother for as long as she could remember. Being a mother was all she ever dreamed of. She quickly wiped the gel from her stomach and got dressed just as the doctor walked back in.

"I'm sorry I can't, I can't do this, I'm sorry for having wasted your time" she said trying to walk past him as he placed a hand on her shoulders

"Its okay, a lot of women hear the baby's heartbeat and they can't go through with it. It makes it all too real…you're going to need an OB since you plan on keeping the baby, one who can keep their mouth shut"

"I'd like that, thank you" Addison said with a smile

"Anytime…and don't forget these" he said handing Addison her ultra sound pictures as she smiled back at him, tears welling up in her eyes….

oOo

Mark Sloan sat in the brownstone of his girlfriend Addison Montgomery, waiting for her to arrive home. She had just told him that she was pregnant with his child over a week ago. He knew she probably was somewhere freaking out about it and decided to give her some space. He rested his head back on the cool leather of the black sofa, his legs coming to rest on the coffee table as he waited for his beautiful redhead. After she didn't come home at her usual time, he figured she decided to work an extra shift, so he made himself comfortable. He ordered in (Thai food her favorite), he got himself a beer, her a glass of sparkling cider (to replace the wine she was oh so used to; he knew she'd protest, but oh well, she'd get over it). He ran her a nice warm bath, filling the tub with her favorite soap and bath beads. The later it got, the more Mark worried. He called her cell phone several times, but got no answer. He jumped slightly from his sleep when he heard her walk through the door. Glancing at the clock, he realized it was nearly 1 a.m.

"Where the hell were you? I bought dinner, I ran you a hot bath. I called your cell, the hospital…where the hell were you Addison?"

"I went to a clinic today" she said quietly as she slid off her jacket and placed it on the wrack near the door.

"Oh my God! Did something happen to the baby?" Mark asked, his voice alarmed with panic

"No…I went to have an abortion today" she said

"YOU WHAT?!" He yelled

"But Mark I didn't-"

"You, are so fucking selfish!"Mark spat out as Addison looked at him in disbelief

"What?" She asked

"It's always about you and what you want!"

"What? Oh no! Mark I didn't-" Addison began, but Mark wasn't heart it; he had heard the words 'I went to have an abortion' and nothing else after that

"This whole situation was about you, it always has been! You never planned on keeping it, did you?"

"Mark, I-" Addison began

"So it wasn't okay for you to have my kid, but it was okay for you to __ride my dick __all those times! It wasn't right for you to have my child, but it was okay for you to call me all those nights Derek was in surgery and beg me to come over and make love to you! 'Mark I need you to come over'. It wasn't okay for you to consider my feelings when you made the decision to KILL MY CHILD, but it was okay for you to come over to __MY __apartment the night Derek threw your ass out and fuck me ! It was okay for me to throw away my relationship with my BEST friend and the only family I've ever know over you!

"Mark-"

"So basically it was okay for me to fuck you and throw my whole life away, but it wasn't okay for you to have my kid! Once again, it's all about Addison Forbes Montgomery, double board certified world class neonatal surgeon who specializes in genetics...blah, blah, blah BULLSHIT! The truth is Addison, behind all those fancy names and titles, you're a _selfish___ BITCH __who doesn't give a DAMN about anyone but yourself!" Mark shouted; though Addison understood he was angry but dammit this was too far.

"FUCK YOU MARK! _FUCK YOU_! You don't know what the hell it's like! To be there, lying on that table making a life and death decision like that! _YOU DON'T GET IT_! Having an abortion isn't an easy decision, which is why I-"

"Sure it is: either you want your kid or you don't. either you kill it or you don't! You took the easy way out. I gave up everything for you Addison!"

"For me?! _You gave up everything for me_?! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO GIVE UP A DAMN THING! I didn't beg you, nor did I once _force_ you to have sex with me. You did that willingly Mark! You said it yourself: you've wanted me since med school! How many times did I catch you glancing at my ass or staring at my breasts __long __before the affair? I lost a lot too you know! I lost my husband of 11 years over you! The Shepherds were my family too! They were the closest thing I'd ever get to a real family! I didn't make you do _anything_ you didn't want to do! And if memory serves me correct you __ENJOYED __having sex with me! You didn't complain __any__! In fact, you seemed to be enjoying me __riding your dick__! And let's not forget all those times you were __MOANING MY NAME __you stupid, ignorant son of a bitch! '_Oh God Red_, Oh shit Addison, That's it right there, Dammit babe, Oh GOD Addison, _Fuck Red I'm about to cum_!' you didn't seem to mind then! You know what Mark, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET OUT!"

"FINE I WILL! YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD TO ME ADDISON! I HATE YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR KILLING MY KID!"

"GREAT! THAT'S FINE MARK! SEE IF I ACTUALLY GIVE A FLYING FUCK! OOOH MARK SLOAN DOESN'T FORGIVE ME! I DON'T NEED YOU TO FORGIVE ME!" Addison yelled

"I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL YOU EVIL BITCH!" Mark shouted

"YEAH WELL I'LL SEE YOU THERE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" She screamed at him as he slammed the door shut, causing pictures to fall off the walls. Once she heard his motorcycle pull out of the garage, Addison burst into sobs...

"I didn't have an abortion you stupid son of a bitch…I'm keeping it" she whispered as she slid down the wall continuing to sob…

_Part II to follow…_

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><p><strong>Yeah, that was pretty intense wasn't it? It gets better I promise! I hope you all enjoy!<strong>

**Xx**


	2. Part II

**Nothing much to say really, except that it picks up about a week or so after the huge Mark and Addison altercation.**

**Enjoy loves!**

**Xx**

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><p>1 week later<p>

Addison lay in bed the next day, miserable and sobbing. She was pregnant, scared, and alone. She had tried to call Mark several times after their argument but, he continued to reject her calls. She knew she should go over and talk to him in person but, after all of the horrible things he'd said to her? No, __he __owed __her __an apology. She instantly sat up in bed when she heard her phone ring. She was startled to see a Seattle area code. Was it Derek? No, it couldn't possibly be she thought to herself as she reluctantly picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Addie? It's Richard_"

"_**Richard? Richard Webber**_?"

"_The one and only; how you doin' Addie_?"

"Did you call to yell at me for foolishly throwing away my marriage?"She sniffled

"_No, I actually called for a consult_"

"You need _me_, for a consult? I'm in New York, _you do get that right_? And besides,_ Derek_-"

"_**Doesn't need to know;**__ what I do and who I call for consults at my hospital is none of Derek's business_"

"Okay so, you gonna tell me about this consult?" she asked as he began informing her about the pregnant mom with TTTS.

"...I could use some of your star power, and this mom deserves the best and well, I called"

"How soon would I need to leave?"

"I can have a helicopter at Mt. Sinai in a couple of hours"

"Okay…wait, no. Just book me a flight, _first class Richard"_

"_I know I know; nothing but the best for Addison Forbes Montgomery"_Richard chuckled

"You know me so well. Give me a couple of hours I'll be ready. I just need to get packed and tie up a few loose ends and I'll be there"

"_Alright. Oh and Addison_?"

"Yeah?"

"_You might wanna bring an umbrella, it rains a lot here_"

oOo

Just before leaving for the airport, Addison made a stop at Mark's apartment where a young Blonde woman answered the door wearing one of Mark's shirts

"Hi…is Mark home?" Addison asked coolly

She could tell she was intimidating the young girl; Hell, if you saw Addison, you'd be intimidated as well. She was dressed in all black, her hair back to its natural red beauty, looking like well, only Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd could

"Uh, he's…he's busy at the moment" The young woman stuttered, giving Addison a peak of her wearing one of Mark's shirts.

"Oh. Well, could you tell him...know what never mind. Just, give him this" she said handing the girl an envelope

"Yeah okay…wait, what'd you say your name was again?" The girl asked as Addison rolled her eyes; for Mark to be such an attractive man, he always brought the bimbos home

"…Tell him, _Red_ stopped by" Addison said as she made her way back down the steps and into her taxi cab.

"Who was that at the door?" Mark asked his Blonde mistress as she returned to the bedroom

"Some woman who calls herself Red…is she your wife or something?"

"What? No? I don't have a wife…wait; she said her name was Red?"

"Yeah and she said to give you this" the girl said handing him the envelope and walking past him and back towards the kitchen.

He held the envelope close to him; it smelled like Addison. He sniffed it again, Chanel No. 5, his favorite perfume. He had always loved the way it smelled on her, said it was something about the way it smelled on her that turned him on. Which was why she made sure she was wearing it every time they had sex. He sat down and slowly opened the envelope finding a simple note:

__Mark,__

__I kept trying to tell you that night but you, (being the stubborn ass you are) wouldn't listen so I guess I'll have to tell you this way. I didn't have an abortion. I'm keeping it, the baby. I thought about it, but, I couldn't go through with it; I only got as far as him confirming the pregnancy (I'm a little over 9 weeks as of today). When I saw our baby and heard its heartbeat, I knew I couldn't do it. I got a call from Richard earlier and, I'm going to Seattle for a week to consult on a TTTS case. I'm giving Derek divorce papers once I get there. It's over, it's been over for a while now and it didn't take me cheating and him moving to Seattle for us to realize it. I think we just both needed a reason to end it. When I get back, we'll talk about everything. I'll let you be apart of the baby's life but, as far as you and me? It's not going to work. I can't trust you Mark, not anymore…__

__-Red__

OoO

Mark sat stunned: she was keeping it. As he placed the letter back into the envelope he felt something else inside. He pulled it out and stared at it strangely for a while. Once he realized what he was looking at his eyes began to water with tears.

"Everything okay?" his young Blonde friend asked

"I'm having a kid"he said suddenly

"What?" the young girl said

"The woman who came by earlier, she's having my kid" Mark said

"So you __are __married?! OH MY GOD YOU'RE SICK!" the blonde yelled

"What? No! No! I'm not married to her, she's just, she's having my baby. That's it, you can't be here anymore get out"

"WHAT?!" The young woman yelled in disbelief

"I said get out! Go home!"

"Ugh! Fine! The sex wasn't even that great!"

"Liar" Mark smirked

"Okay it was spectacular, but you're a PIG!" The girl said as she stormed back into the bedroom to gather her things.

Seattle, Washington-3 hours later

Richard was right; it did rain a lot in Seattle. When she stepped off the plane, it was raining and cold, which was exactly how she felt: cold. She was in her soon to be ex husband's new town where he was playing pretend with some woman…an intern at that! Addison bet the woman didn't even know Derek was married. She was in Seattle with Derek and then she had to go back to Manhattan with Mark, the ignorant asshole who said all those hurtful things to her when she was trying to tell him that she was keeping their child. Men she thought to herself as she un-boarded the plane.

Addison caught a cab to her hotel, The Archfield (the best Seattle had to offer of course) and had the bellman take her things to her room. Once she got herself cleaned up, she hailed a cab over to Seattle Grace. She spotted Derek almost immediately once she stepped foot inside the hospital. He had cut his hair; it was completely different, and so was he. The woman, more like the child he was with, she looked at least nearly 10 years younger than Addison. A fucking intern! She thought to herself as she marched over to the unsuspecting couple. If Derek wanted to play hardball, then he could bring it. Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery had invented the game of hardball.

"Meredith, I am so sorry" Derek said to his young mistress before turning his attention to Addison

"_Addison, __**what are you doing her**_**e**?" he asked

"Well you'd know if you bothered to answer any __one __of my phone calls. Hi, I'm Addison Shepherd" She said smiling, extending a hand out to the doe eyed looking woman (or rather girl) standing behind her husband

"Shepherd?" the woman asked clearly intimidated by Addison, which thrilled the redhead

"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband" she said rather casually, as if it were a normal occurrence to meet her husband's mistresses. When she took a glance over at Derek, Addison could barely contain the laughter she felt bubbling up inside. It felt good, it felt really really good.

_Part III to follow…_


End file.
